This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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