O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
