i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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