My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
