Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
