Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.