yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care