I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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