I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize