im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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