Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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