she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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