Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
