Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
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Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
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I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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