he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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