dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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