Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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