its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
