After last night, I could never be a politician.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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