Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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