I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
