He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
