Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I AM VODKA MAN
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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