meet me or not, i'm out of control
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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