There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
