apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
