how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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