My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
