She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
