at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize