So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
