also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
God I need to hump something, right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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