Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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