LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
