Redeem this text for a blowjob
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I AM VODKA MAN
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
