i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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