Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
