Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
