what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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