we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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