i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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