Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

He had one of those small greek statue penises

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(618): View more from Illinois

so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...

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(541): View more from Oregon

You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.

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(813): View more from Florida

He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them

(386): View more from Florida

Tequila 1 marriage 0

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(614): View more from Ohio

We blew shit up to. With a cannon.

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