I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
