my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
