I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
