4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick