I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
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Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine