I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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