First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?