THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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