He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
