Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize