the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize