Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
