I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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