Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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