i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
