I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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