The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
