I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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