he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
