fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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