oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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